I really think I may have gone too far.

Yesterday was a very very bad day.

It is just too gruesome. And let me tell you, I just took this picture and I look about 1,000 times better than I did yesterday.

What on earth was I thinking? I am sure in three weeks, I will be glowing like tween who just swallowed kryptonite, but for now, I suffer....... Yesterday it was horrible. I could only put Vaseline on it and it made it slick and shiny. People stared at me - but tried not to look like they were - all day long. My kids were truly embarrassed to be seen with me (so I took them to NASA as a learning experience). Today, it was better, but I coated it in base makeup to cover the redness. It itched, flaked, and peeled all day. By the afternoon, I was scaring my clinic patients and having to explain - Oh, I just had a chemical peel.........

Vanity.

It is so sad.

It drives me to exercise, cleanse, botox, exfoliate, peel, paint, primp, dye.

Yesterday, I had to take a morbidly obese patient to the OR for drainage of a 21 centimeter wide pus pocket that had formed in 12 days under her skin from a cesarean section. We had to cut through 6 inches of fat to get to the abscess so we could drain it.

I had gone to Wendy's for dinner and ordered a #1 meal deal (burger, fries, diet coke). That is something I rarely do, but I was so depressed and in pain because of my face I thought it would cheer me up. After cutting into a smelly abscess, through about 327 #1 meals (super sized), and draining 600 cc of pus, I thought I was going to die. Then we had to jet lavage the whole thing and debride the necrotic tissue, but I digress. It was so sad actually. She is a nice person, and she just had her fourth child, and she could barely move herself from one bed to another for surgery.

What am I teaching my children?