How to Write About a Near Death Experience

We all know that we are going to die someday.

You don't know when, or how, or why it is going to happen, only that it is.

I really have never worried much about it. My family is healthy and death is something that happens to old people after long, happy lives. The only exception is my brother Jep. He battled leukemia most of his life and died after a long illness at 18. I was eight.

My story begins in Venezuela, at a Siete Mares Ecoposada. A large group of Chevron families decided to take advantage of a school holiday and book a long weekend on the northern coast of Venezuela. Many of them had visited the posada in years past and told us how wonderful it was. I went alone with the kids as Chris was attending his goddaughter's baptism in San Francisco that weekend.

Siete Mares means "seven seas" and was named for the seven beaches/coves that lie to the west of the posada. These coves are now only accessible by hiking from our beach, over hills and rocks. Each beach is 50 - 100 yards long and absolutely breathtaking and unspoiled.

A large group of us decided to hike over to one of the coves on Saturday morning. We were armed with kids, boogie boards, sunscreen, water and towels. After hiking for a while, we settled on a gorgeous beach with very few rocks near the shore. It was a gorgeous day. The waves were large, and the teenagers took off into the water for boogie boarding and body surfing. The smaller kids stayed near the shore and enjoyed the waves and sand. The parents took turns surfing, relaxing, and keeping an eye out for the kids.

Body surfing is a fabulous experience. I swam out with the teenagers and tried to ride the waves in without a board. I was standing in water up to my chest, and the waves were cresting over our heads. As the waves would get closer, we would start swimming towards shore, hoping to be caught by the crest of the wave and have our bodies propelled forward under the force of the water. We were tossed as often as we rode, but always came up laughing and spraying water.

As I was coming out of the water and making my way back to shore, I glanced up and saw my daughters playing near the shore. I happened to look to my right, and noticed two other little girls were on boogie boards and looked as if they were getting a little close to the rocks at the end of the cove.


I started walking in their direction through the waves. My intention was to tell them to not play so close to the rocks.

As I got closer, I could see that the girls were rapidly floating further offshore and towards the rocks. I started running. The girls were moving back so quickly I had to change my trajectory in order to reach them. When the water was up to my waist, I dove and started swimming towards the girl who was in the greatest danger. The waves were starting to crest about two feet above my head.

When I reached her I grabbed onto her boogie board and tried to stand up. When my feet could not touch the bottom, my heart started pounding. I knew it would be tough, but I still thought I could tow her back to shore. I yelled at her to start kicking and started trying to pull her out of harm's way.

It was then that I felt the current. Despite my best efforts, we were being pulled between two huge rocks into a blind alley lined with huge boulders, crashing waves, and no way out. I started screaming for help. Waves were crashing over us, pushing us closer and closer to the rocks and I was using all of my strength just keeping us in a stationary position.

I was somehow able to swing her around so she was in front of me, and between waves, pushed her as hard as I could towards the shore. By some miracle, I could see her father who was able to grab onto the board and eventually was able to get her back to the shore and to safety.

As every action has an equal an opposite reaction, pushing the little girl towards shore had propelled me back between the rocks.

The current continued to pull me and I continued to fight. I was incredibly focused on survival. I was swimming as hard as I could, frustrated by the fact that I could not get out of the current. The waves were at least 4 feet over my head, occasionally bashing me into the rocks, but I was able to push off of them and stay afloat. As the next wave approached, I decided to dive under rather than be carried towards the rock.

As I came up from the wave I realized my good friend, K, was in the water next to me. Her face was blank with terror and I could see her spitting out sea water. She is not a strong swimmer. I knew it was likely suicide, but I had to help her. I realized that I could barely save myself, but I was going to try to save us both. I tried to reach her, and may have caught her hand at one point, but the waves were making it impossible to see or make sense of what direction we needed to go. Panic began to really sink in. I was contemplating life without my dear friend, as I was certain she was going to drown as I was not strong enough to help her.

In that instant, I looked up and another friend R had appeared. I felt like it was a miracle. K had a chance. R had been trying to reach us and was clipped by a wave and pulled out into the current. R has been a swimmer her whole life. She had been working out on a weekly basis with the ECA swimming coach and was up to 2,000 meters a session. She has extensive training in water safety/survival. Seeing her was like seeing her was like seeing an angel. She got to K, and I realized I could focus on getting myself to safety.

R started screaming for a board. One of the guys was able to throw one to me, and I kept trying to throw it to R and K, but wave action kept ripping it out of my hands, or throwing it back to me. I threw the board one last time, and realized I could not see K and R anymore. I had no idea what happened to them. The board was taken by the current to the alley of death.

I was again being pulled between the two large rocks. I started swimming for my life. But I was not going anywhere.

I soon understood that the best I could do was stay out from between the rocks, but not fight the current back to shore. I was quickly exhausted. I mean really really exhausted. I have never been so physically and emotionally tired in my entire life. My muscles all felt like rubber. Panic ebbed out of me like a sieve and I started thinking more clearly. About drowning stories I had read. About leaving my kids without a mother. About my husband. About the little girl I hoped was safe and out of the water. About the friends I could not see anymore and thought might have drowned. About how fast these things happen. About how it was likely I was going to die.

I looked up and saw a third friend, S, in the water behind me. She had the same blank look that K wore when I saw her. She too had tried to help, and underestimated the waves and current. It was her little girl I had ultimately saved, and she could see me struggling for my life. Against her better judgement, she had come into the water to see what she could do. Seeing her sharpened my focus and redirected my energy. I was no longer alone, and I was not going to let her die.

At this point, some of the men had climbed onto the rocks above us and were yelling at us to climb onto the rocks. Of course, climb the rocks and get out of the water. I had focus and I had a plan. I let the waves push me over to the rock I had fought so hard to stay away from. As the waves threw us onto the rocks, I grasped with all of my might to find a hand hold before the wave pulled me off again. The rock was too slippery and the waves too strong.

Somehow, I was able to grab S and drag her to the next rock further out. This rock has spent more time in wave action, and was was pock-marked with holes which were very sharp, but climbable. The wave pushed me onto the rock, and I reached out with my hands, but was pulled off again. The next wave pushed me to the lateral side of the rock and I was able to grab on. I held on with the tips of my fingers and helped S climb up above me. During the next wave I braced myself and grabbed as hard as I could. I was pulled off again, but learned the secret to hanging on.

When the next wave slammed me into the rock, I used the tips of my fingers to dig into the pock marks and held on. I was nearly ripped off the rock, but I made it. I started screaming at S to climb higher, so I could get out of the wave action as much as possible. By sheer force of will, I pulled my body up the rock and held on with my fingers and legs while the waves did their worst. Once S was able to climb out of the worst of the wave zone, I quickly followed.

I looked down at myself. My legs were a bleeding mess, and my finger nails were all ripped out to the nail beds, but I could have cared less. I had made it out out of the water, and was sitting on a rock, in the middle of the ocean, clinging for dear life while waves crashed around us, but I was certain I was not going to die.

I looked onto shore and could see Katherine standing there crying and screaming for me. One of the other Moms had their arms around her and was trying to console her. I pasted a smile on my face and gave her a huge thumbs-up sign. I started yelling that I was OK and there was nothing to worry about.

S and I could have cared less if we lived the rest of our lives on that rock. After a few mintues, one of the men had climbed onto the large rock in front of us (that was too slippery for us to climb). They had brought wood they had found onshore and were trying to build a bridge. They had even brought me shoes to see if it would help me navigate the rocks back to the shore. N was sitting on the rock ahead of me and we started timing the waves. During the trough, it seemed that I could jump down to a small ledge between the two big rocks and then he could help me up to his rock.

I could not stand seeing Katherine so upset, so I went for it. I easily made it up the rock and another Dad was waiting on the other side. I could see him standing in about 4 feet of water and he was doing fine. I jumped into his arms, then into the water and ran straight to Katherine crying on the shore.

I threw my arms around my precious baby girl and reassured her that I was fine. She was holding onto me for dear life. After a couple of minutes, she was able to let me go and I looked for my other daughter Madeline. I could see her playing in the sand, oblivious to what has just happened. I looked up and saw K and realized she had not drowned. I ran to her for a hug.

I walked away from the crowd, suddenly numb. I could not cry. My stomach was cramping and I felt nauseated. The nausea passed, but I could not stand up straight. Everything felt surreal. Was this really happening? Did I really drown and this was all a dream? After a few minutes, my pulse and respirations returned to normal.

Everyone made it out safe. We all ceremoniously got back into the water in the safe area for a few minutes so the kids would not be too traumatized. We then hiked back to the lodge. We only have a few bumps and bruises and cuts to show for ourselves. It has only been a couple of days, and I am still having flashbacks, and frightening myself with "what if" scenarios, but it is getting better with time.

What have I learned?

I love children, my friends, my husband, and my family. I will, for the rest of my life, continue to surround myself with good people who would do the same for my child if they were in danger. I am powerful and strong, and eternally grateful to Tony Horton and P90X for the strength to pull myself up the rocks, but I will take a water survival course.

I do not consider myself an overtly religious person, but I have absolute certainty that God was with me that day. Later that night, we were sitting around the pool, drinking wine and reexaming the facts of the day. I had to go to the bathroom and walked alone to the closest one. I thought someone was following me, and turned around, but no one was there. I walked into the bathroom and took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a little stress relief. I felt arms around me, as if someone was standing behind me giving me a hug. I opened my eyes and no one was there. I immediately thought of Jep, my brother who died so long ago. I then knew that he was there too.

There were many people involved that day, and these are only my recollections - recorded under extreme duress, so some of the details are still a little fuzzy. Everyone was a hero that day.